More on Dismantling the Patriarchy: Giving

The patriarchy views power as something to be horded, to never be shared. Patriarchy supports hording of all kinds, in fact. So when we give, of ourselves, we are dismantling the master’s house with something very foreign to him.

Giving isn’t about iPads and concert tickets, or dolls and cars, or even candy canes and cookies. Those things are fine gifts, if you must, but really, giving is about giving of ourselves.


Give peace. Refrain from using violent language like “shoot me an email” or “having a tool in our arsenal” or “hit me up”, even “shut up”. Refrain from calling people names, even in traffic. Smile at people, like cashiers, and look them in the eye. Mean it when you tell them, “Thank you, and have a nice day.”

Give respect. Listen to the people around you, don’t just wait for your turn to talk. Treat people they way they want to be treated, not the way you want to be treated.

Give love. Show love. Invite lonely people into your home for a meal. Kiss your partner passionately in the middle of dinner (with consent, of course!). Ask a kid what their favorite book is. Be open.

Give power, share power. Do not exoticize people of color, do not put women on a pedestal, and do not pity people with disabilities. Center the lives of marginalized people, honor their experiences. If you have money to spare, give it to organizations that work with marginalized people.

Someone on my Facebook feed started today with this status update: “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me” (if you follow us on Facebook, you probably know that we shamelessly copied it). We each have an opportunity, every day of the year, to give of ourselves and let someone know they are not alone. We are not alone, no matter our journey. When you give of yourself, you give to yourself. Sharing power grows power, love fosters love and peace creates more peace. We could all use more of each of them, today and every day.

– Cristy Cardinal Reposted from UpRoot


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