Get Mad We All Don’t Have Great Dads

This past weekend while doing some cleaning, I rediscovered one of my favorite family photos, a picture of my son “helping” his dad shoveling a load of sand. Colin was around 3 years old and was just adorable as he worked very hard in keeping up with Charles. Just too cute!www.haven-oakland.org.

This morning, while checking media headlines, I sadly read about a father in California who murdered his wife and critically injured, via gunshot wounds his 3 year old son. The man also threatened to kill his 5 year old, who was able to escape, and then the man killed himself.

In contrast to my picture of a cute little 3 year-old helping his father I now had a mental picture of a 3 year-old bleeding and terrified while hiding behind a trash can. One of these pictures is terribly wrong and should never have happened. I bet though there was a time in that little boys life that he too wanted to be just like his dad, who would have gladly shoveled sand and to be dads little helper. Now this 3 year old and his older brother are orphans and will have to deal with the lifelong trauma of having watched their father kill their mother.

With Father’s Day this weekend, it is a good time, I think, to reaffirm that we as a society have to come together to make the senseless deaths and violence end. It is our role as members of the greater community to wage a new revolution against violence against women and children.

We all have to accept responsibility for this violence. Why? We don’t speak up when we see abusive behavior in action. We stay quiet when we suspect someone we know is in an abusive relationship. We don’t hold abusers fully responsible for their actions. We don’t scream. We don’t get angry. We don’t sit down and talk about it with our children. We don’t write letters to the newspapers and in general – we don’t demand that this stop and find any way we can to be part of making it stop.

There are ways:

Take a friend to HAVEN’s Being A Better Dad class.

Donate to a shelter.

Fund a Prevention Education program in your school.

Find more ways you can help stop domestic violence by visiting

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